Friday, May 13, 2005

For those times that you absolutely crave humans

It's late at night, you're watching TV and it hits you - the undeniable yearning for the taste of flesh. What? That's never happened? Boy, will this guy be really disappointed.

According to Mark Nuckols Tu'06, humans do not taste anything like chicken. The founder and CEO of Hufu, LLC -- the company that produces hufu, a type of tofu that simulates the texture and flavor of human flesh -- claims that his company's product "tastes like beef but a little softer in texture and a little sweeter in taste."

Wait, it gets better.

His product, which contains zero fat and 100 calories per ounce-sized serving, was developed by a Dutch food processor and will be available through his website,, which is set to launch Thursday. The website, which ships internationally, will initially only offer Hufu Classic Strips, which, according to Nuckols, "will basically resemble the choicer flesh, which is upper arms, thighs and buttocks." Nuckols, however, assures customers that plans have been made to develop Hufu Hearts and Dr. Lector's Liver.

For the cannibal gourmand, those are really the best parts," Nuckols said

When you only want the very best human meat. You know, the funniest part is that this guy is actually enrolled in the Tuck School of Business. Here's a lesson from business 101 for Mr. Nuckols - if you want to invent a new food, make it one that doesn't turn people's stomach.